Breastfeeding in Japan (the Bad)

Have boobs, have baby... NOW WHAT?!

"Are you breast feeding?" is one of the first questions I am always asked, following "how old" and either before or immediately after "boy or girl". What depresses me is been the number of women who have then continued on to say "it's best, but sadly I couldn't make enough milk." Being actually unable to produce enough milk is incredibly rare and usually linked to a medical condition, but after my experiences with medical authority figures it makes depressing sense that so many women think they couldn't. I'm actually surprised that anyone manages to successfully feed given the awful advice and out-right sabotage.

Having established breast feeding, everything has been great. Getting established, however, was a nightmare. I had very poor support during the hospital stay, and having spoken to a number of other women I think my experience was pretty normal. Here's what the nurse-midwives instructed the new mothers in the clinic where I gave birth:

1. At first, feed for only 5 minutes per breast then supplement with formula until the baby has consumed a set amount (about 60 ml per feed). Feeding longer will cause cracked nipples, and if that happens you will have to stop feeding completely until they heal.
2. Weight baby before and after each feed and supplement with formula to make up the proscribed weight.
3. Feed when the baby cries.

This is exactly the advice I would give if I wanted someone to fail to establish a breast feeding relationship and to ensure they did not produce enough milk. Seriously, I can't think of anything else to add if your objective was to ruin all chances of someone breast feeding.Not a single bit of advice on that list is correct, NOT ONE THING. Furthermore, the most important thing that new mums really do need help with, getting a good latch and position, there was no help offered for. I struggled for a month with latching problems that any nurse-midwife worth her salt should have spotted immediately, then when Cricket hadn't gained "enough" weight at his one month check the pediatrician told me to start giving formula with no attempt to help me breastfeed better, and followed this recommendation up by sending a representative from the formula company who sponsor both the pediatrician and maternity clinic to lecture me while we were trapped waiting for the checkup to finish. Yes, sponsor. Did I forget to mention that? When I was very clear that I wasn't going to give him formula she then tried to tell me I should give him barley tea! A one month old baby who is gaining weight slowly. Tea. I kid you not. Thankfully I got help from a lactation consultant who does skype appointments (thank you Blue Sky!), and she spotted the latch problem right away and within three days Cricket was gaining weight at such a rate that the pediatrician (who insisted I go back the following week to make sure I wasn't killing the baby with my crazy tea-refusing ways) said with a big smile "so, you started using formula then?"

It all ended happily here, but I'm furious everytime I think about all the women who want to breast feed, and carefully follow the advice of the people they trust to tell them how they should do it, and then feel that they have failed because they aren't producing enough milk.

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Breastfeeding in Japan (the Good)

Sakura and Breastfeeding

 This disclaimer applies to everything I ever write, really, but I'm going to make a special point of restating it here~ these are my experiences, and do not necessarily reflect the situation for others or in other parts of Japan. With breastfeeding in particular, I think my experiences in a rural area with a relatively high birthrate may be very different to the situation a tourist may encounter in Tokyo, for example.

Cricket is fast approaching three months old. In that time I have nursed him on a train, in several parks, in an onsen, in a PTA meeting and during a Buddhist service in a 450 year old temple. Not only have I had no problems whatsoever, if he gets the least bit restless when I am out with him I can guarantee that within a few seconds an old lady will appear with one hand squeezing my breast and telling me to hurry up and get it into the baby quick-snap! Everyone I have encountered has had a very positive attitude towards breastfeeding, and the facilities available just about everywhere are fantastic:

One of several small "private" feeding rooms in a department store. The pillow is provided.

A nursing lounge in the same department store. This one has room for a pram and picture books for older children to read while waiting for their younger sibling to finish nursing. There are twice-weekly lactation classes offered here for free.

Although the best baby care facilities seem to be on the kids' stuff floor of department stores, all major shops or government offices have them. Even the garage where we had our brakes done recently had a big comfy nursing lounge. The other thing I am really loving about the baby care facilities in Japan is that they are offered to men, as well. Men's toilets come with changing tables, there is always a gender free toilet with a changing table too, and some large department stores have "daddy care" and "mummy care" rooms. In the mummy rooms you can breastfeed freely, while I guess the advantage of the daddy care rooms is that guys don't need to feel as self-conscious (on one occasion when I met a dad by himself in a baby care room he was quickly mobbed by curious mums who wanted to check out his diaper changing technique and tell him how great he was, which I am guessing would get old very quickly).

Lovely clean changing tables and nappy vending machines

Feeding chairs for toddlers, hot water and microwave, and pamphlets on various services for young families

In terms of social acceptance, facilities and general ease, I think Japan is awesome for breastfeeding. Getting established in the first week after birth was another story though, and I'll write about that in part 2.

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Here Comes the Sun: A Journey to Adoption in 8 Chakras

 

I'm so excited to be able to tell you that Leza Lowitz's memoir is now available for pre-order (the release date is July 1st). I shared some excepts a few years ago and have been waiting to read the rest. There is so little information in English on adoption in Japan that a book like this is a real treat. Here's a link to the book on Amazon: Here Comes the Sun: A Journey to Adoption in 8 Chakras 

And here is the official blurb:

At 30, Californian Leza Lowitz is single and traveling the world, which suits her just fine. Coming of age in Berkeley during the feminist revolution of the 1970s, she learned that marriage and family could wait. Or could they?

When Leza moves to Japan and falls in love with a Japanese man, her heart opens in ways she never thought possible. But she’s still an outsider, and home is far away. Rather than struggle to fit in, she opens a yoga studio and makes a home for others. Then, at 44, Leza and her Japanese husband seek to adopt—in a country where bloodlines are paramount and family ties are almost feudal in their cultural importance. She travels to India to work on herself and back to California to deal with her past. Something is still not complete until she learns that when you give a little love to a child, you get the whole world in return.

The author’s deep connection to yoga shows her that infertile does not mean inconceivable. By adapting and adopting, she transcends her struggles and embraces the joys of motherhood.

Here is the memoir's home page: http://www.cbsdsmarttools.com/sites/m89832/index.html

I've reviewed the book for another publication, so I wont say too much about it here, except that it is well worth reading.

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Murderers Just Don't Say Good Morning

A man in Osaka murdered his neighbor this morning, killing her in front of her one year old son. The media pack which assembled immediately began interviewing the other residents of the apartment building about the nature of the murderer~ "I hear he didn't give set greetings (aisatsu)," a reporter asked, "is that so?" "Yes!" The neighbor replied. "He never returned greetings."

In 2005 I was having dinner with a professor of law who taught at a prestigious university. He was telling me about a case with a particularly violent offender. During interviews with the man's family it turned out that his mother had never said "welcome home" (okaeri). "No wonder he became a criminal" my acquaintance exclaimed vehemently, "he never learned the most basic thing about living in society!"

In 2011 I was teaching at a junior high school in a low socio-economic status area with a number of pretty troubled students. There was violence, teen pregnancy, kids cracking open beers on the front steps of the school, that sort of thing. The principal made a speech to the assembled student body about how if they just worked on their greetings, their lives would change for the better.

These experiences are why, when I started watching the TV drama "あいしてる” and a kid came home from school without saying "I'm home" (tadaima) I knew he was going to get into serious trouble. Sure enough, episode two and he'd smashed another kid's head in.

Aisatsu, guys. Don't mess with the greetings.

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Help Japan's Institutionalized Kids: Living Dreams Fundraising Gala This Friday!

Living Dreams is a fantastic NPO dedicated to helping children in orphanage and foster care gain access to self-expression and experiences through LAST: Learning, Arts, Sports & Technology. This Friday (May 15th) they are hosting an amazing-looking fundraising gala in Ebisu,Tokyo. There will be performances, exhibition of photos taken by kids using cameras provided by Living Dreams and an auction of some fabulous looking items. You can buy tickets by following this link: http://www.livingdreams.jp/main/gala

It's an entirely volunteer-run charity that will put your money to good use, so even if (like me) you can't make it to Tokyo this week, you can still send a donation their way ;) http://www.livingdreams.jp/main/donations-2/

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Things I See When I Run From Zombies (flashback Friday)

I'd read great things about the Zombies, Run! app, but my phone is too old an crap to run it. Last year I discovered that I can use the 5k training version, and since I can't actually run further than a block without collapsing in a gasping heap it was probably the better choice anyway. So, I loaded up some tunes and headed out. While most of the episodes are timed and will just interupt your music when the time is up, the prologue episode goes by songs. This was a bit of an issue... what was estimated to be a 45 minute work out took me an hour and a half. My playlist contained Iron Maiden, Amon Amath and Blind Guardian~ the guitar solos alone are the length of a whole pop song! Still, I loved the app and I loved exploring my neighbourhood. I saw so many awesome things on that first day that I was hooked (it was that time I encountered a wild pheasant). As soon as I got pregnant the running had to stop (I started vomiting 12 hours after conceiving and didn't stop until just before his head emerged), but here are some pictures from the couple of months I kept it up.

Misty farms

Caution: snakes

Stabby bamboo of death

Bloody moon

I had no idea there was a shrine in the middle of that patch of trees

So Cyberpunk- Koi under and oily film in what looked like an abandoned gated community

Hobbits?

Early sakura

Terrifying-alien-egg-plant

Oranges rotting on a tree before falling into the well. A sweet, sickly odor fills the still air. Zombies are close.

Old roofing tiles reclaimed by nature

I swear I heard moaning behind me...

Definitely a zombie lair

Hiding in the walls, perhaps

Wild wisteria

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Gift

Who is this vision of grace and beauty I hear you cry? Why, `tis none other than my darling sister Verity, who regular readers may remember from the Very Awkward Tea Ceremony. And why are you dazzling us with this delightful image, you exclaim? And furthermore, why do you use this irritating writing style? Well, the answer to both is, basically, sleep deprivation. Allow me to elaborate, dear reader. Caring for babies is time consuming, and further complicated by dogs and a (more than a little challenging) big brother. Yet, we do not face these challenges alone, for a gift beyond price has been given us by the mostest bestest sister to walk this green earth. Despite having an MA thesis to finish and a wedding fast approaching, she has flown halfway around the world to wash my dishes and hold the baby while I pee. It is a kindness I can never repay nor thank her enough for, and for the rest of my life my greatest prayer for others will be: may you have a sister in your life half as kind as mine.

Many thanks to Helen of Inn by the Sea for giving me a kick back into blogging with the "five days challenge". The idea is to post five photos, one per day for five days, and to write a story or poem to go with each photo. For each day that we post we are supposed to invite one person to participate.

I'm inviting Mim and Cheese of Two Lof Bees to join in. Dudes, if you would like to participate, post a picture a day for five days and write a story to go along with each photo. Your story can be fiction or non-fiction. It can be a short paragraph, a page, or a poem. Each post, please select one person to carry on the challenge. It's just for fun, there's no pressure to join in ;)

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