Thursday, 31 October 2013

Wood. Or Possibly Pottery. But Probably Shampoo.

Yes, that is a Battlestar Galactic uniform and yes, the seams aren't pressed. I only finished sewing it the morning of the wedding >.<

We've been married for five years today, but we've been living together for nine years and friends for seventeen, so it seems a little pointless to fixate on numbers. We spent our anniversary last year driving to another prefecture to get a psychological evaluation as part of our adoption application. We're spending this one begging someone (anyone!) to baby-sit so we can have some time off. Life moves faster than one thinks.

We rarely say "I love you". I like that. The words become overused and lose meaning~ "Can you buy milk Iloveyou?" I get that to some people constant repartition is comforting, but it isn't for me. I want it to mean something, to be said only when dripping with emotion and significance. When you know what your relationship means, you don't need everything to be said.

My husband bought new shampoo recently and I commented that I liked the smell.
"That's why I bought it," he said, "it reminded me of how your hair smelled when we lived on Churchill Avenue." We lived in that house in 2004. The shampoo I loved at the time went off the market that year and hasn't been seen since. He remembered the scent, although he never used it. Who needs "I love you"?

We were ruthless in cutting all mention of love from our wedding vows. I don't make promises I can't keep, and you can't promise to feel an emotion. I promise honesty, kindness, respect, and that I will be here 'til death do us part. If someone promised to love me forever, I'd back slowly from the room without making sudden movements. You can't make promises about how you'll feel, and if you think you can you are either delusional or lying.* I'll take the random email in the middle of a rough week that says "by the way, you are a great mum", the Sunday morning pancakes and the shampoo.

I'm not entirely without romance. At our wedding we had Dylan Thomas' "And Death Shall Have No Dominion" as a reading, and Toccata and Fugue in d minor on an antique organ played by a friend in return for a bottle of whiskey. That's pretty romantic for two one-time goths, right?

This is a random youtube video, not from our actual wedding...

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead man naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.
Dylan Thomas

*After writing this I realised that it sounds pretty offensive to people not limited to but including Whitney Houston. I'm just talking about my own preferences and feelings guys, I promise I am not judging you for yours. Honestly :)

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  1. In a Darth Vader uniform it would have been difficult to kiss the bride. Battlestar Galactica uniform? I kinda like it.

  2. Congrats you two crazy former (reformed? huh! never) goth love-birds. One of the most lovely weddings that I have ever been to and a lovely reception and after party. Congrats on all of the various sets of numbers.
    (5 years means man I had been going out for almost two months at that time. Crazy stuff).

    1. love, love, lovely ... *sigh*
      I think that highlights the points raised in your posts. I am a critical over-user (but never abuser) of the L word ...

    2. I wish I had a photo of the cake of amazing to share, but we only brought pics to Japan that we thought we might use for work :(


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