|So this happened.|
Although we never wanted Tiger to be an only child, this isn't exactly what we had in mind. Although it does not necessarily disqualify us from ever adopting again, it will make it a lot harder and restrict our options. Many agencies and some CGCs will not accept applications from couples with biological children at all. Others require that biological children be a minimum age before they will accept applications. On top of all that, what modest savings we did have in the bank ear-marked towards further familial expansion are now having to be redirected to the insanely expensive business of preparing for a newborn. Even though everything it is safe to do so is being purchased second hand and plans to cloth diaper and breastfeed should cut down on costs, honestly, it's still a struggle. Especially factoring in my lost income.
It's going to be a long time before we can look at adopting again, and that means Tiger won't have a sibling near his age for some of the years when it is most fun to have a partner in crime. He's thrilled to bits at the idea of being a big brother, but I've been feeling an extraordinary amount of guilt. There are three orphanages within short driving distance of our home. It's entirely irrational to think about it in these terms because I know few of the children are available for adoption and furthermore our local CGC has remained adamant that they want us to proceed through ISSJ for future adoptions because they aren't confident in handling the international aspects themselves, and we couldn't have afforded that immediately even without the baby~ in other words, there was no imminent prospect of adoption anyway. But still. We can afford financially and emotionally to raise a limited number of children, and creating one who didn't previously exist reduces by one the number of already existing and waiting children who we can parent. Please understand that I am talking about how I feel here and what our plans were as parents, not in any way criticising others' choices or attitudes. Adoption is a complex issue and I certainly don't see it as some sort of overarching moral imperative, but for us, in our situation, we felt that parenting by adoption was the ethical choice and I rarely fail to live up to a decision I make on ethical grounds.
This is my mea culpa.
Now it's done, the next post will be a funny story about my dogs, promise!