There Were Four in the Bed and the Humans Said “No More”

Plenty of room...

The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is give Hayate a cuddle. He has not historically been the most affectionate of creatures, but first thing in the morning he is warm, calm and snugly. He rolls over yawning, presenting his tummy for a scratch, and nestles his head into me. Those morning moments are what make me forgive him for being a little monster during the day. Kuri is next, because she jumps off the bed the second the alarm goes off. She waits for me on the rug, and immediately rolls onto her back to lure me into scratching her tummy, upon which she takes my hand in her paws like kittens to and mouths my fingers very gently while making what I am sure she thinks are very fearsome noises. Occasionally I even say good morning to the husband, but he tends to be less cute before 6 am than the dogs are. He is also very resistant to presenting his tummy to me. So, with this picture of doggy bliss well established, why am I writing about kicking the dogs out of the bed?

What do you mean "no eating in the bed?"

They are horrible, horrible bed buddies. 

They shed. A lot.

Kuri has slept in the bed pretty consistently but Hayate only started joining her this past winter, and the addition has pushed us over the edge. Kuri is extremely aggressive in defending her spot on the bed, but she also likes to sleep under the covers.

Not a morning puppy

This means Hayate can’t really tell where she is, and has come too close a few times and sent her into a violent frenzy that is bad enough any time, but at 2 am when the frenzied dog is under your quilt, it’s horrible.

Wise he is, and your future he sees

Kuri likes to sleep on my legs (and occasionally licks my legs enthusiastically in the early hours of the morning) with her chin balanced on my feet and her nose poking out from the end of the quilt for fresh air. In other words, she puts a permanent draft up under the blankets.

I'm not talking to you

Hayate sleeps crosswise, with front and back legs stretched out for maximum bed usurpation. Hayate and Kuri have to be kept with a human between them to prevent fighting. The humans have become pretzel-shaped bits of doggy bedding.

Could I take up any more room? Why no, I don't think so...

There’s also Hayate’s habit of doing this when he is over exited just before bedtime.

Worst, though, is that if we kick them in our sleep, which is unavoidable, they tend to react badly (which is understandable but unpleasant). We haven’t had any skin piercing bites, but it is certainly scary to be woken by growls and teeth snapping near your feet. They are also sometimes too excited to see us when we wake up and leap onto our chests, which is terrifying when you are half asleep and, depending on the velocity of the dog and the time since the last nail trim, can result in a scratched face. When we have kids, they need to be able to come into our bed in the night if they want to without being scared of or scarred by the dogs. And for the sake of our sanity, we humans need to get a better quality of sleep.

But we like the bed :'(

So how do we do it? Any advice will be gratefully received. We’re buying some baby fencing and in the worst-case scenario we will just fence off the bed and put up with however long it takes before they stop crying to be let in, but that’s a traumatic way to go about it for them and us. I’d like to take a more positive approach, but I’m short on ideas. Please help!

Also, if you are interested in linking up for the J-Blogger's carnival (Eat, Drink, Cook) don't hesitate to get in touch.